How did I pick this title? Well in the automotive world, when you start pushing the boundaries of what your vehicle can handle.. you run into the next problem in the chain, GRIP, you can produce all this power but without grip, one simply spins with all its power and actually get nowhere. Why i feel this title was appropriate is because in its whole entirety I’m a car guy, possibly relate more of my life to the automotive world than i should. AWESOME! so we got that out of the way. im a car guy with real life problems, and trying to find myself.

5:27am 3/6/19- this is the first excerpt of what will become many probably stupid blogs, the great thing is. this blog is for me, not you, but nonetheless i hope you find something in here that you can really resonate with and helps you move forward in life. I’m not a writer although ive always enjoyed it, im simply just good at doing physical work. It will probably bother many of how i write, if you have suggestions please do say so id love to improve. so anyway here i am, the wife and kid are asleep, this early is the only time i seem to really get to myself, life of a dad right? my name is Abel, im 24 and im lost. remember back to that first paragraph? well imagine im the car.. i feel as if im in my prime in how to grow a future for my family and i, but almost nomatter what i do i cant seem to get a grip and actually get anything done.. my father has said its because im constantly dreaming and that i need to focus on just one thing. the issue i feel i have is im running out of time, and im running out of motivation, everyone says having a kid you forget about your dreams… well i refuse to let that happen. yes i feel it getting harder and harder.. but even though i say i just need to push harder.. its much harder than i imagined.. not because i dont have a why, but more or less my why is more important than getting ahead. what is my why? my little girl, my wife, my family… my biggest fear? loosing my family while i try to build a better life for them.

i ended that last paragraph kinda rough huh? good, im sure most men that are doing everything they know how and missing out on countless hours with their family all feel the same way.. simple thought constantly in the back of their minds.. “this is all for you, i just hope you dont think it took too long.” so i guess after setting the stage for my hardest question i live with. ill tell you what im doing and why im struggling. as i said im 24 i have one beautiful daughter and an amazing wife, this woman pushes me beyond my limits everyday, in good ways. she believes i can achieve anything, and she gets my end goal.

RETIRE AT 35 WITH FINANCIAL FREEDOM

thats a crazy goal for a 24 year old. but i feel like i have no other choice, i dont want a lavish life, i just want to spend time doing what i want, when i want, with my family. My wife is crazy enough to believe that i can do this for us, thats why i love her!

so what am i doing. well a little about my past.. when i was 14 i started at this awesome vitamin store i was a simple employee, it was great, i stayed there until i was 22. by then i hated it and i was looking for something more from life, i decided it was time to grow. i left and started working outside in landscaping, that was a rough first year, but i loved every minute of it. but still.. i was searching for more, somehow the stars aligned and everything went south with that employment. luckily i had stashed away a little change. my older brother who also worked in the same company (my boss) had also lost his job and also had a little change saved. so what did we do? you guessed it, we started our own landscape business. Great! right? yep, it was magical, finally the more i had been searching for was here, i was building something, i wasnt working for someone, the problems started in our first winter.. things got tight of course they did its a seasonal business, then they got tighter.. i had to swallow my pride and move to my in-laws.. thats okay we thought, we can pay off debt(Debt: momma says thats the devil).. well here we are now.. 4 months in.. things got tighter of course.. weve paid off $200.. thats it.. but things seem to be getting worse… more power, no grip.. at this point i can feel the tensions in my family, my wife is tired of living here, im tired of living here, im tired of the debt, and im tired of getting nowhere. so what happens to your family when things get like this.. ill tell you… you tend to add more power.. get even less grip.. or as some people say, digging your grave deeper.. tensions are so high i am drunk three to four days a week. no problem right? wrong. that $15 4 times a week. $60 a week that could be going where? yep debt, but its hard.. when you cant get your mind right. i know its not an excuse. its up to no one but myself to make these changes. so here i am 24 business owner, father of 1, provider of 3, turning alcoholic…

Why is this happening i ask? im stronger than this.. i can create the life we desire.. i know i can, so what do i do? well that part im not sure, this was my first crack at a blog, i found the problem.. all power, no grip. i am starting this to help me get a clear head, maybe help my productivity, most of all im doing this as an outlet, trying to get these shit stresses of life out. im using this as a journal or record of who i so truly believe im supposed to be.. and how ill get there. one fight at a time.

thanks for reading, te agradesco mucho.